Best American essays of the century

"An honorable relationship - that is, one in which two people
have the right to use the word love- is a process, delicate, violent,
often terrifying to both people involved, a process of redefining
the truths they can tell us.

It is important to do this because it breaks down human self-delusion
and isolation.

It is important to do this because in doing so we do justice to our own
complexity.

It is important to do this because we count on so few people to go
this hard way with us.

I also have faith that you are telling me things it is important i should
know; that you do not conceal facts from me in an effort to spare me or
yourself pain.

Or at least that you will say, " There are things I am not telling you" because
we take so much of the universe on trust.

It isn't that to have an honorable relationship with you, I have to understand
everything, or tell you everything at once, or that i know,
beforehand, everything i need to tell you.

It means most of the time I am eager, longing for the possibility of telling
you. That these possibilities may seem frightening, but not
destructive to me. That I feel strong enough to hear your tentative and
groping words. That we both know we are trying, all the time, to extend
the possibilities of truth between us.
The possibility of life between us."

Adrienne Rich